Archive for category Shit
Anal Balm
Posted by GrosPenor in Photos and Pictures, Shit on January 24, 2012
Is your ass balmy or is it just me?
I have a confession to make. Sometimes I just come up with a topic and then see what random shit comes up in an image search.
The End is Nigh! Let’s Get High!
Posted by GrosPenor in "Science", Movies and Clips, Shit on January 24, 2012
Those damned sounds from the sky. We’re going to die.
Fisting Story
Because of the extreme pleasure you all took in piranah81′s erotic excerpts, I feel the need to provide one of my own, uh, masterpieces…
He began fisting the bitch harder and harder. As the saliva began to dry from his hand her chafed asshole began to bleed profusely, which he licked from around the stretched sphincter like drips from a melting ice cream cone.
And then she farted. His hand was pushed outwards by the blast, which angered him so much he removed it with a yank, the girl groaning in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Putting his arm around her waist to hold her still, he began furiously slapping her ass with full force.Spittle dripped from the ballgag in her mouth and her eyes rolled back into her head. “This will teach you not to interrupt me while I’m fucking your sister!” he shouted, his brow sweaty from the exertion of giving punishment.
Soviet Monkey Penis Man
Posted by GrosPenor in "Science", Photos and Pictures, Shit on August 24, 2011
Serge Abrahamovitch Voronoff was a French surgeon of Russian extraction who gained fame for his technique of grafting monkey testicle tissue on to the testicles of men for purportedly therapeutic purposes while working in France in the 1920s and 1930s.
Shut Your Fucking Dick, Uncle Bongface!
Posted by GrosPenor in Photos and Pictures, Shit on August 22, 2011
I don’t always fart when I cum, but when I do you better follow me around with your lips to my asshole, bitch.
Tales from the Wastebasket: The Wedding Tackle’s Missing
Posted by Marinecorpselard in Shit on August 11, 2011
I’m going to assume Marinecorpselard wrote this whilst extremely baked and left it as a draft for me to discover, masturbate to, and then post as an afterthought.
I came home from the pool and I could see a glowing radish floating above my cat Nipples. She was dead, my cat. I didnt even think for at all, about living without her. My mother said, “If you could only SEE how fucking homosexual you look right now.”. I was 12 weeks old.
Tales from the Wastebasket: Tampax Tampon Review
The article below is incomplete and I don’t have much intention at the moment of finishing it, but I figured someone might find it amusing, so here it is.
Hello, and welcome to… Tampon Reviews! Now what might a fine young stallion like myself want with girly cuntplugs, you might ask? I assure you that there is no one more qualified to write about this subject than yours truly. I love tampons. They’re… made of rayon. Which rhymes with crayon. Which obviously explains a lot. Yes, many a time have I engaged in the art of menstrual fingerpainting on the canvas of your mom’s good rug, smearing odes of love to your sister onto its shaggy surface, pausing only to dip my brush in her sweet palette of crimson beauty. Ahem, at any rate, on with the review!
For this review, being as how it’s only our first episode, I have decided to review Tampax Regular. Why not one of those super absorbent atrocities that can hold more blood than a vampire’s stomach? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? More excitement is yet to come! I have chosen to evaluate the product in five key areas: taste, texture, appearance, odor, and packaging.
Taste: As with any good gourmet item, to apply any form of sauce would be considered an abomination. I decided to lightly steam mine in order to facilitate swallowing, but otherwise consume it plain. Let me tell you, for a moment I thought I was eating the feces of God himself! A subtle woody, starchy flavor met my palate, and with each chew I was blessed with even more of this delightful flavor. The only unfortunate part was the string, which had a dirty metallic quality that was unpleasant, to say the least. I didn’t eat the applicator, as I was uncertain as to what kinds of onerous chemicals had been used in the bleaching of the cardboard.
Texture: I was very glad I had steamed the tampon before I ate it. Despite being only of regular absorbency, it would have barely gone down were it not for the moisture it had absorbed in the steamer. Unlike paper products, tampons do not begin to flake and pulp in your mouth upon contact with saliva, which was a pleasant surprise.
Unfortunately for those of you who are waiting with bated breath to find out how the appearance, odor, and packaging stacked up, you will have to buy your own fucking tampons and find out.
Look…
Posted by GrosPenor in Photos and Pictures, Shit on August 8, 2011
…at what my dick did to my fleshlight! It tore the hymen, and even caused some serious tearing. Is this supposed to happen?
The way I figure it, either a) my cock is really huge, b) this is supposed to simulate deflowering a teenage girl, or c) my cock is really huge.
There’s a slight chance that this toy is a cheaply made overpriced piece of crap.
But damn my cock feels good.
Bitch Lick My Wiener
Posted by GrosPenor in Marine Corpse 'Originals', Movies and Clips, Shit on July 30, 2011
Microsoft Comic Chat
Posted by GrosPenor in Nostalgia, Photos and Pictures, Shit on July 21, 2011
Microsoft. To some, evil corporation, to others (including myself) just another organism doing what it does best – eating other organisms and attempting to better itself through (seemingly random) experimentation (that generally doesn’t work.)
Apparently Microsoft at one point (back when nobody was actually using their browser, and those that were – like me – were on dialup and weren’t interested in no sluggish multimedia shit) attempted to create a Comic Chat application, sort of a precursor to non-gaming MUD-type things like Furcadia and Habbo, where you interacted with other users by the means of 2D computer generated template cartoons. Yes, it was sort of like an early version of Morning Glory Comics – you simply typed something, and your character (in its frozen and repeated pose) would say it. Despite the yiffers jerking off to the animals and such, most of us would have found this shit boring, but it’s actually quite the nostalgia piece. Why? Because I fucking said so, and now you need to perform fellatio upon my massive and enormous cock for even suggesting that I don’t know what I’m talking about, you filthy fucking whore.