Marinecorpselard went out for a walk
To find some hot bitches to suck his fat cock
Instead he got hit by some asshole in a truck
Who sped off away cuz he didn’t give a fuck

The moral of the story? Kill everyone that owns a truck, eventually we’ll get the bastard.

On a more serious note, as you can guess from the above work of quality poetry, our own Marinecorpselard did indeed get hit by some douchebag in a truck. Thankfully he’s ok. But he won’t be able to rock out and be metal for awhile, and for that we call for the driver’s head. We could probably turn it into a bong or something, y’know, for Lard to smoke his painkillers out of. We love you, dude! In a totally heterosexual sexual manly way.

We shall soon return with something worthwhile, for now I present to you an assful of cock.

We’re working like hamsters in wheels to edit this shit, okay?!!?! Fuck you. Your mother had a mustache too.

So, dear reader. I, er, assure you we have indeed filmed some lovely video content for all you ungrateful buggers, however I have also been far too stoned off my ass to edit it. Fear not, between Spatula and I we will hopefully have some lovely dollop of fat rendered down in the next few days for your viewing enjoyment. Until then, don’t take any wooden dildos.

What happened?

Why has Marine Corpse degenerated into a series of spastic public missives to the crazed collective psyche of our staff?

The truth is that it’s all in your head. We are here, as always – we are the Alpha and the Omega. Reinforcing doctrinal thought processes amongst the followers will assure our victory.

I hope. I pray. It’s not like any of you shitheads really cared anyway. Bitch.

Uh, my point is: There’s only so much genuinely interesting content we can generate with crude text alone. We have a bunch of shit in the works, we sincerely promise, and it’s only a matter of time. With the glorious medium of film at our disposal, we shall produce magnificent artistic wonders until we get bored/drunk/high again.

That is all.

But seriously, it’s gonna be a couple weeks. Shut up and sit tight, you voluptuous colostomies.

Yes, we now have a Twitter account: MarineCorpse. Follow that shit!

Celebrities: cower in fear.

Well, it does in fact seem that the update to WordPress 3.1 has kind of fucked the header layout for logged in users. This will be fixed, however I am currently drunk off my ass and I really don’t give a fuck right now. So suck it. Oh, and thanks for visiting our blog! ^_^

Edit: By the way, it appears there hasn’t been much action on the Facebook ‘like’ buttons – are we that much of a guilty pleasure that you have to hide us from your friends and family and the rest of the world that is perving your Facebook profile?

YES.

YES.

YES.

PC AND INTERNET.

LET THE PORN EXPLOSION BEGIN.

happy christmas drunk fun time