About
Welcome to the Marine Corpse. Perhaps you have been told that it is the fuckingest; what you have heard is the immutable truth. Amen.
We are a creative collective of crackpots who crank out crap for you cunts. Some of it may be more enjoyable than the rest. (Alliteration was a high note here, folks…) And our fine art skills are often anything but.
If something here offends you, please, don’t read it, or hair will grow from your palms and you will go blind. And please don’t sue us, we’re really quite nice people when you get past the huge cocks and sodomy, dead infants in the garage…
In general, we’re actually decent and intelligent folks. For the most part, we’re not really racists or chauvinists, and if you haven’t caught on to that you need to familiarize yourself with the concept of satire. If you think satire is lame, you need to GET THE FUCK OFF OF OUR INTERNETS. The cynicism and general dickbaggery, on the other hand, is generally pretty fucking serious. If you write us complaints about anything, we will probably post them and tear them to shreds while questioning your sexual orientation. If you think that would be awesome, you are our new best friend because you get it.
If you still aren’t terribly keen on the dark, absurd and inappropriate junk that gets churned out of our brains, permit me to direct you to a number of websites more appropriate for your fragile and deluded sense of morality:
And hey – have a nice d- I mean fuck you!
Authors
A pretentious dickbag on par with posers like Hitler and Alan Parsons, he was born in a graveyard from the unholy union of the caretaker’s cat and a cursed tombstone. His budding drug addiction is all that keeps his dark origins from driving him to suicide, much to the dismay of all the decent folks around him. When he isn’t in a depressed, drunken stupor, he can usually be found masturbating and singing out of key. Sometimes, he eats food. He would also be interested in going on dates with pretty girls, not that he needs any help with that thank you very much.
Resident Weedmaster and Guy Who Knows How To Make This Website Do Things (GWKHTMTWDT). He has an unreasonable fear of canned tuna, and that is why I feed it to his asshole while he sleeps. His Author blurb is necessarily much shorter than Spatula’s, because Spatula is a lot more important in every way even though he is technically incompetent too enlightened to use computers. Also at least half of this blurb must focus on Spatula.
Much like Pluto, Lard only makes a round every few centuries. We’ve been prodding him to increase his velocity, but I guess he’s just too fucking cool for Marine Corpse. That’s also why his blurb is short – it’s like an employee compensation program where nobody gets paid and you think your boss is a prick. One day the office burns down.
~VITAL BULLETIN~
Are you a Marine Corpse contributor? Do you not see your name here?
Then you need to catch the fuck up on your posting quota.